Believing in yourself is another way of saying having confidence, but I think it is a much more explicit way to say it. It explains what is required.
What is confidence? Confidence is often linked with self-esteem and self-worth. It is self-assurance. It is believing that you have much to offer and that you are valuable. Much of that is gained through accomplishments and successes. Some of that is gained through other peoples opinions.
Confidence in yourself also means trusting yourself to be able to handle any situation that comes your way. This means preparation by gaining knowledge and experience.
Often times, we don’t strive for what we want because either we don’t believe we are capable of achieving it, or because we aren’t motivated. We may not be motivated due to fear of failure, often caused by believing we’re not capable or not worthy of success. Motivation requires confidence and self-trust.
Knowing you are valuable and worthy is your birthright. Achieving and succeeding must be attempted in order to be accomplished. These suggestions will get you where you need to go!
1. Volunteer
There is nothing that will make you feel better about yourself than helping others and making another person’s day better. Feeling useful, wanted and needed builds confidence and self-worth. You will learn new things about yourself: things that you are good at and things that make you feel confident.
Acts of kindness boost your mood by boosting serotonin production. It’s a win-win activity!
2. Make a List
Make a list of all the things you have already overcome and accomplished in your life. Then you can start adding new things as you accomplish them. Seeing this list in black and white is very empowering. (I speak from experience.)
3. Surround Yourself with People that Support You
If you have highly critical people in your life, their words do affect your perception of yourself. Unless or until you can embrace the following, it is in your best interest to eliminate them from your life if you can, or minimize your contact with them.
- Know their words are just their opinions.
- Know opinions are not facts.
- Learn not to take things personally.
Find people with similar values and interests, who will support and enhance your progress. When you surround yourself with people like this, their confidence in you, and your knowledge that they are there for you will motivate you and give you confidence.
4. If You Don’t Already Have It, Gain Self-Acceptance
In order to believe in yourself, you must first accept yourself. How can you believe in something you can’t fully accept? If you don’t have self-acceptance, then that means that you are rejecting parts of yourself, possibly even hating parts of yourself. It will be impossible to believe when rejection and hatred are present.
Some people believe that one can simply choose to accept oneself. If this works for you, be grateful. I didn’t find it that simple.
When we were children, much of our confidence (or lack of) came from what others said or believed. For me, no matter how many times I was told good things about myself, I was never able to accept other people’s opinions. So, I was left to my own devices to figure out how to learn to believe in myself.
In my late twenties, I was “delivered” a method, and it started with gaining self- acceptance. You can find out how I became self-accepting on my website.
5. Change Your Focus
Stop focusing on what is missing or wrong in your life. Instead, focus on being grateful for all the things that you do have and all the parts of your life that are working.
Every time you ‘hear’ yourself thinking something negative (and you’ll probably feel heaviness or a slumping of your body), replace it with a thought of something you’re grateful for and smile!
6. Take on Challenges
Create opportunities to prove to yourself that you are more than you currently believe you are. Who you currently believe you are was probably defined by other people. Again, it’s just their opinions.
You can start small; take a class, or go to a workshop that teaches something you consider a weakness.
Want something bigger? Learn something completely new. Take a vacation alone. Start a foundation or a company/business. Do something that scares you.
7. Keep Learning and Growing
The more we know and understand the better able we are to handle situations. This includes learning about yourself: gaining self-awareness.
This means lots of reading, taking classes, and going to seminars and workshops. Therapy and journal writing are also invaluable tools for self-exploration. Explore! Investigate!
Investigate how you work, how humans in general work and how the world works. This will gain you knowledge, and as you use this knowledge in situations, you will gain experience which gives you wisdom. And wisdom will increase your belief in yourself.
8. Set Goals
Set small, achievable, short-term goals to prove to yourself that you can accomplish what you set your mind and effort to.
9. Live Up to Your Own Expectations, Not Anyone Else’s
Many times, lack of confidence comes from the fact that we are chasing other people’s goals for us, not our own. It is not your job to satisfy other people’s expectations of you. It is your job to live up to your own expectations for yourself, to pursue your own dreams, and to use your own talents, skills and gifts to serve the world.
10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Your appearance, accomplishments, earnings, success, and whatever else, are your own. You have all the tools you need to fulfill your goals, not any one else’s.
I wish you all the best in you efforts to believe in yourself. It is a very worthy endeavor.
When you believe in yourself, anything is possible!
Michele Goldstein is a Spiritual-Interfaith Minister, life counselor, former teacher, writer, blogger, gratitude-junkie, and founder of Return Love.
Her mission is to share her unique message of healing, evolving perception, and the end of suffering derived from her own personal growth journey. michele.indigosky@gmail.com.
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