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Thursday, November 29, 2012
Google Alert - SandraRose.com
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Police: White Man Kills Florida Teen Over Loud Music
Police: White Man Kills Florida Teen Over Loud Music:
Jacksonville, Florida resident Michael Dunn (pictured left), 45, is suspected of killing Jordan Davis (pictured right), 17, after shooting into the SUV carrying the teen 8 or 9 times because he felt “threatened,” reports News4Jax.com.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Dunn and his girlfriend were reportedly returning from his son’s wedding when they pulled into Gate gas station at approximately 7:40 p.m. November 23rd.
SEE ALSO: UK Politician Likens Same-Sex Adoption To ‘Child Abuse’
Davis and several other teens (two 17-year-olds and an 18 year-old) were sitting in an SUV playing music. Dunn, apparently having a problem with the volume, told the teens to turn the music down, leading him and Davis — who was sitting in the backseat — to exchange words.
Everything went downhill from there.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
News4Jax.com reports:
According to police, there were no guns in the vehicle and none of the teens were carrying weapons. It is unclear at this time why Dunn claims to have felt threatened.
SEE ALSO:
Jacksonville, Florida resident Michael Dunn (pictured left), 45, is suspected of killing Jordan Davis (pictured right), 17, after shooting into the SUV carrying the teen 8 or 9 times because he felt “threatened,” reports News4Jax.com.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Dunn and his girlfriend were reportedly returning from his son’s wedding when they pulled into Gate gas station at approximately 7:40 p.m. November 23rd.
SEE ALSO: UK Politician Likens Same-Sex Adoption To ‘Child Abuse’
Davis and several other teens (two 17-year-olds and an 18 year-old) were sitting in an SUV playing music. Dunn, apparently having a problem with the volume, told the teens to turn the music down, leading him and Davis — who was sitting in the backseat — to exchange words.
Everything went downhill from there.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
News4Jax.com reports:
“Evidently there were words exchanged between our victim, who was sitting in the backseat of that vehicle, and our suspect,” JSO Lt. Rob Schoonover said at a news conference Monday morning. “For whatever reason, our suspect produced a weapon and began firing into the vehicle.”Dunn’s attorney, Robin Lemonidis, said that once all of the details come out, it will be clear that he was not in the wrong.
Jordan Davis, a 17-year-old Wolfson High School student, was shot a couple of times, police said.
Investigators said Dunn’s girlfriend had gone into the store to buy something at the time and was inside when the shooting happened.
“She came running outside and she jumped in the vehicle, when they took off,” Schoonover said.
The woman, whose name was not released, will not face charges, police said. They said she has been cooperating with investigators.
“When she came out, she asked him, ‘What’s going on?’” Schoonover said. “Supposedly his statement was, ‘I just fired at these kids.’ And we believe at that time, I don’t know if he knew he struck anyone in the vehicle. But the next morning, I guess, when they woke up in the hotel and saw the news that someone was killed, that’s when they got in their car and fled back to Brevard (County).”
Witnesses spotted the license plate number and helped police locate Dunn.
“It turned out to be excellent information,” Schoonover said.
Dunn, of Satellite Beach, was arrested Saturday at his central Florida home. Schoonover said he was in the process of turning himself in to his neighbor, who is in law enforcement.
“Once all the facts come out, what really happened is made known, that it will be very clear that Mr. Dunn acted responsibly and as any responsible firearms owner acted under these same circumstances,” Lemonidis said.Schoonover said that the teens admitted to playing loud music, but that does not justify shooting at them. Davis’ father said that he does not want revenge because it will not bring his son back; he just wants to look Dunn in the eye and understand why he killed his son.
According to police, there were no guns in the vehicle and none of the teens were carrying weapons. It is unclear at this time why Dunn claims to have felt threatened.
SEE ALSO:
Is Cory Booker’s Food Stamp Pledge Out Of Line?
Jamie Foxx Calls Obama ‘Our Lord And Savior’ At Soul Train Awards
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Why Your Job is a Dead End (and How to Re-Energize Your Life)
Why Your Job is a Dead End (and How to Re-Energize Your Life):
“Go to college, major in something marketable, then get a good job in a secure field.” Sound familiar? It’s what most of us have been told.
But now that you’ve been out in the real world for a while, something doesn’t quite seem right about that advice.
Maybe you feel like:
That’s OK. See, the problem isn’t you.
The problem is that we’re conditioned to believe that a job can create the kind of lifestyle you want.
What’s wrong with having a job?
Well, plenty actually. Your job has some huge fundamental flaws that make it a dead end:
With a job, you’re entire financial livelihood is dependent upon a single source of income. If you lose your job, how will you pay for food, rent, and your eBay addiction?
Have you scaled yourself? Cloning is now a medical reality, but you don’t really want to pay a surrogate to bear a half-dozen mini-me’s that you can raise up and train into your personal worker-bee posse.
Do you get up every morning excited about your job? Do you–in Warren Buffett’s words–”tap dance to work”? Not likely.
What’s the toll of working for years–or decades–at a job or jobs where you feel bored, unfulfilled, and dispassionate?
What if you liked–no, LOVED–what you did? How much richer would your life be if you were passionate about your work and if it energized you?
What’s the alternative?
The alternative is something that roughly 1 out of 7 workers is already doing: working for yourself.
Wait–did you feel it? You probably just felt something like:
See, a job isn’t your friend. It’s actually the enemy of the kind of lifestyle you really want. It just looks good because you’ve been conditioned to think that way–regardless of the facts.
Let’s see how working for yourself looks compared to a job
With a job:
Now, let’s take a look at working for yourself. I’ve been self-employed since I ditched my day job in 2008, and here’s what self-employment looks like:
Would you turn down a 400% raise? I didn’t think so.
Now, let’s look at some of the other aspects of working for yourself:
Before you hand in your resignation, you need to know the right way to do it.
Start your business part-time on the side, and keep your day job–let your job fund your new business. Use the skills and experience you already have, and provide value to clients. Find out how to specialize so you can charge MORE for your expertise instead of competing with people around the globe who are eager to work for burger-flipping wages.
There’s a way to become self-employed WITHOUT being risky, and without struggling.
—–
Greg Miliates started his consulting business in 2007, QUADRUPLED his former day-job salary, and teaches how to ditch your day job on his blog
“Go to college, major in something marketable, then get a good job in a secure field.” Sound familiar? It’s what most of us have been told.
But now that you’ve been out in the real world for a while, something doesn’t quite seem right about that advice.
Maybe you feel like:
- you’re not being paid what you’re worth, or
- you’re not challenged, or
- you’re afraid you’ll get laid off/down-sized/right-sized, or
- you’re overwhelmed and stressed with the demands of your job, or
- you wish you could do something that truly interests you.
That’s OK. See, the problem isn’t you.
The problem is that we’re conditioned to believe that a job can create the kind of lifestyle you want.
What’s wrong with having a job?
Well, plenty actually. Your job has some huge fundamental flaws that make it a dead end:
- Financial security:
With a job, you’re entire financial livelihood is dependent upon a single source of income. If you lose your job, how will you pay for food, rent, and your eBay addiction?
- Scalability:
Have you scaled yourself? Cloning is now a medical reality, but you don’t really want to pay a surrogate to bear a half-dozen mini-me’s that you can raise up and train into your personal worker-bee posse.
- Free to be me:
Do you get up every morning excited about your job? Do you–in Warren Buffett’s words–”tap dance to work”? Not likely.
What’s the toll of working for years–or decades–at a job or jobs where you feel bored, unfulfilled, and dispassionate?
What if you liked–no, LOVED–what you did? How much richer would your life be if you were passionate about your work and if it energized you?
What’s the alternative?
The alternative is something that roughly 1 out of 7 workers is already doing: working for yourself.
Wait–did you feel it? You probably just felt something like:
- discouraged at the prospect of working hard for something that isn’t guaranteed, or
- doubtful that you can succeed, or even
- fear that you’d fail.
See, a job isn’t your friend. It’s actually the enemy of the kind of lifestyle you really want. It just looks good because you’ve been conditioned to think that way–regardless of the facts.
Let’s see how working for yourself looks compared to a job
With a job:
- You’re told when to arrive at work, when to take breaks, and when you can leave.
- You’re told what work to do, and often, how to do it.
- If you disagree with your boss, too bad–you just have to deal with it.
- You have little control over how much you’re paid, how much time off you can have, and what your benefits are.
Now, let’s take a look at working for yourself. I’ve been self-employed since I ditched my day job in 2008, and here’s what self-employment looks like:
- No one tells me when to work, how long to work, or how to do my job.
- I get assignments from my clients, and if I don’t want the project or client, I don’t have to take it.
- I control how much I earn, how much time off I take and when I take it, and have benefits (healthcare, retirement, etc.) that are equivalent to most “real” jobs.
Would you turn down a 400% raise? I didn’t think so.
Now, let’s look at some of the other aspects of working for yourself:
- Financial security: If one of your clients/customers has no work, it’s not a big deal, since your revenue comes from multiple customers–not a single employer.
- Scalability: Yes, there is only one you, but you can subcontract, hire employees, and automate processes. Try asking if you can subcontract your job, and see where that gets you. Probably something like: “Do you want to pack your things now, or shall we send them to you–along with your final paycheck?”
- Personal fulfillment: Working for yourself means having control over your destiny. As an employee, I complained a lot–a LOT–but as a business owner, I feel empowered and continually see new opportunities.
- Fringe benefits: More flexibility, equivalent health & retirement benefits, and less stress round out some of the other benefits of working for yourself.
Before you hand in your resignation, you need to know the right way to do it.
Start your business part-time on the side, and keep your day job–let your job fund your new business. Use the skills and experience you already have, and provide value to clients. Find out how to specialize so you can charge MORE for your expertise instead of competing with people around the globe who are eager to work for burger-flipping wages.
There’s a way to become self-employed WITHOUT being risky, and without struggling.
—–
Greg Miliates started his consulting business in 2007, QUADRUPLED his former day-job salary, and teaches how to ditch your day job on his blog
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Monday, November 26, 2012
Applying a Scientific Mindset to Everyday Life
Applying a Scientific Mindset to Everyday Life:
The scientific mindset is a great way to better understand the world and how to adapt to it. This mindset is not only useful in colleges and laboratories, but also in our everyday life.
By learning to be a more scientific thinker, we respect the facts, question our beliefs, practice our knowledge in the real world, and never stop learning new things.
This mindset can significantly benefit ours lives by teaching us how to adapt effectively to our always changing world.
I believe that anyone can benefit from adopting a more “scientific mindset.” Here are the main principles in how to be a more scientific thinker:
Respect the facts and evidence.
Scientific minds respect the truth. They look for facts and evidence to support their views, because that’s the only knowledge they can reliably use to navigate their world and better their lives.
A mind that seeks truth is better than a mind that is filled with delusion. No matter if the truth is pleasant or painful, the truth – in the long run – is what sets us free from ignorance and suffering.
Despite the power of truth, many people are afraid of it.
They ignore facts and evidence that go against their assumptions, prejudices, and desires. They aren’t willing to admit when they are wrong. And they cling to a worldview that isn’t congruent with the reality around them because they aren’t ready to accept it yet.
A good scientist must be open-minded and willing to accept reality for what it is at all times. They must respect the facts and evidence they encounter on a daily basis.
Question your beliefs.
As much as we want to know the truth, we must also recognize that the human mind is prone to error.
The most intelligent people are still biased in one way or another. Everyone makes mistakes. So true intelligence requires that we remain skeptical of our beliefs at all times, because you never know when you might be wrong.
Doubt is a healthy and necessary aspect of a learning and growing mind. It causes us to seek more knowledge and information, especially information that goes against our pre-existing beliefs.
Anyone that is completely certain of what they know, or thinks they know everything, is lying to themselves. Being humble and modest about our beliefs keeps us firmly grounded in reality.
Practice your knowledge in the real world.
The most important knowledge is knowledge that is practical and useful to our lives.
Don’t get trapped in philosophy and theory if the answers you get have no bearing on how to live your life better. Sometimes we put too much focus on information and not enough on putting that information into action.
Results should always be the main goal. And often what works for us is a better gauge of truth than what doesn’t work for us.
Be practical with the knowledge you gain. Test and experiment with your ideas in the real world. Pay attention to what happens. If your ideas aren’t bringing you the results you want, then you may need to try alternatives.
Using our knowledge effectively is often a game of trial-and-error. Keep what works, and discard what doesn’t. This is something a scientific mind does well.
Never stop learning new things.
A scientific mind tries to learn something new everyday. They realize that there is infinite knowledge in the world and we can never know it all, but we can always discover more.
Some people believe that they stop learning after high school or college. They feel it’s no longer necessary to seek new knowledge, like read books, watch documentaries, experience new things, or do research. This attitude is what keeps people stuck in the same old patterns of their life.
We cannot better our choices and habits unless we are always willing to learn new things. Learning is the foundation of all growth and self-improvement. A mind that never stops learning can potentially overcome any obstacle in life.
Steven Handel is a long-time writer on psychology and self-improvement. He blogs frequently at The Emotion Machine and is also the author of the brand new e-book The Science of Self Improvement. He encourages you to follow him on Facebook and Twitter, where he frequently shares new articles, as well as answers people’s questions about the human mind and how it works.
The scientific mindset is a great way to better understand the world and how to adapt to it. This mindset is not only useful in colleges and laboratories, but also in our everyday life.
By learning to be a more scientific thinker, we respect the facts, question our beliefs, practice our knowledge in the real world, and never stop learning new things.
This mindset can significantly benefit ours lives by teaching us how to adapt effectively to our always changing world.
I believe that anyone can benefit from adopting a more “scientific mindset.” Here are the main principles in how to be a more scientific thinker:
Respect the facts and evidence.
Scientific minds respect the truth. They look for facts and evidence to support their views, because that’s the only knowledge they can reliably use to navigate their world and better their lives.
A mind that seeks truth is better than a mind that is filled with delusion. No matter if the truth is pleasant or painful, the truth – in the long run – is what sets us free from ignorance and suffering.
Despite the power of truth, many people are afraid of it.
They ignore facts and evidence that go against their assumptions, prejudices, and desires. They aren’t willing to admit when they are wrong. And they cling to a worldview that isn’t congruent with the reality around them because they aren’t ready to accept it yet.
A good scientist must be open-minded and willing to accept reality for what it is at all times. They must respect the facts and evidence they encounter on a daily basis.
“It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”
Carl Sagan
“I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I’ll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it.”
Isaac Asimov
“We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”
Ayn Rand
Question your beliefs.
As much as we want to know the truth, we must also recognize that the human mind is prone to error.
The most intelligent people are still biased in one way or another. Everyone makes mistakes. So true intelligence requires that we remain skeptical of our beliefs at all times, because you never know when you might be wrong.
Doubt is a healthy and necessary aspect of a learning and growing mind. It causes us to seek more knowledge and information, especially information that goes against our pre-existing beliefs.
Anyone that is completely certain of what they know, or thinks they know everything, is lying to themselves. Being humble and modest about our beliefs keeps us firmly grounded in reality.
“I am too much of a skeptic to deny the possibility of anything.”
Thomas Henry Huxley
“It is scientific only to say what is more likely and what less likely, and not to be proving all the time the possible and impossible.”
Richard Feynman
“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Stephen Hawking
Practice your knowledge in the real world.
The most important knowledge is knowledge that is practical and useful to our lives.
Don’t get trapped in philosophy and theory if the answers you get have no bearing on how to live your life better. Sometimes we put too much focus on information and not enough on putting that information into action.
Results should always be the main goal. And often what works for us is a better gauge of truth than what doesn’t work for us.
Be practical with the knowledge you gain. Test and experiment with your ideas in the real world. Pay attention to what happens. If your ideas aren’t bringing you the results you want, then you may need to try alternatives.
Using our knowledge effectively is often a game of trial-and-error. Keep what works, and discard what doesn’t. This is something a scientific mind does well.
“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.”
Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut
“Pragmatism asks its usual question. ‘Grant an idea or belief to be true,’ it says, ‘what concrete difference will its being true make in anyone’s actual life? How will the truth be realized? What experiences will be different from those which would obtain if the belief were false? What, in short, is the truth’s value in experiential terms?’”
William James
“Knowledge is treasure, but practice is the key to it.
Lao Tzu
Never stop learning new things.
A scientific mind tries to learn something new everyday. They realize that there is infinite knowledge in the world and we can never know it all, but we can always discover more.
Some people believe that they stop learning after high school or college. They feel it’s no longer necessary to seek new knowledge, like read books, watch documentaries, experience new things, or do research. This attitude is what keeps people stuck in the same old patterns of their life.
We cannot better our choices and habits unless we are always willing to learn new things. Learning is the foundation of all growth and self-improvement. A mind that never stops learning can potentially overcome any obstacle in life.
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
Alvin Toffler
“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
Albert Einstein
“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.”
Mary Catherine Bateson
Find out all the tools, techniques, and attitudes that help achieve happiness in The Science of Self Improvement. Steven Handel is a long-time writer on psychology and self-improvement. He blogs frequently at The Emotion Machine and is also the author of the brand new e-book The Science of Self Improvement. He encourages you to follow him on Facebook and Twitter, where he frequently shares new articles, as well as answers people’s questions about the human mind and how it works.
10 Ways to Start Believing in Yourself Right Now!
10 Ways to Start Believing in Yourself Right Now!:
Believing in yourself is another way of saying having confidence, but I think it is a much more explicit way to say it. It explains what is required.
What is confidence? Confidence is often linked with self-esteem and self-worth. It is self-assurance. It is believing that you have much to offer and that you are valuable. Much of that is gained through accomplishments and successes. Some of that is gained through other peoples opinions.
Confidence in yourself also means trusting yourself to be able to handle any situation that comes your way. This means preparation by gaining knowledge and experience.
Often times, we don’t strive for what we want because either we don’t believe we are capable of achieving it, or because we aren’t motivated. We may not be motivated due to fear of failure, often caused by believing we’re not capable or not worthy of success. Motivation requires confidence and self-trust.
Knowing you are valuable and worthy is your birthright. Achieving and succeeding must be attempted in order to be accomplished. These suggestions will get you where you need to go!
1. Volunteer
There is nothing that will make you feel better about yourself than helping others and making another person’s day better. Feeling useful, wanted and needed builds confidence and self-worth. You will learn new things about yourself: things that you are good at and things that make you feel confident.
Acts of kindness boost your mood by boosting serotonin production. It’s a win-win activity!
2. Make a List
Make a list of all the things you have already overcome and accomplished in your life. Then you can start adding new things as you accomplish them. Seeing this list in black and white is very empowering. (I speak from experience.)
3. Surround Yourself with People that Support You
If you have highly critical people in your life, their words do affect your perception of yourself. Unless or until you can embrace the following, it is in your best interest to eliminate them from your life if you can, or minimize your contact with them.
- Know their words are just their opinions.
- Know opinions are not facts.
- Learn not to take things personally.
Find people with similar values and interests, who will support and enhance your progress. When you surround yourself with people like this, their confidence in you, and your knowledge that they are there for you will motivate you and give you confidence.
4. If You Don’t Already Have It, Gain Self-Acceptance
In order to believe in yourself, you must first accept yourself. How can you believe in something you can’t fully accept? If you don’t have self-acceptance, then that means that you are rejecting parts of yourself, possibly even hating parts of yourself. It will be impossible to believe when rejection and hatred are present.
Some people believe that one can simply choose to accept oneself. If this works for you, be grateful. I didn’t find it that simple.
When we were children, much of our confidence (or lack of) came from what others said or believed. For me, no matter how many times I was told good things about myself, I was never able to accept other people’s opinions. So, I was left to my own devices to figure out how to learn to believe in myself.
In my late twenties, I was “delivered” a method, and it started with gaining self- acceptance. You can find out how I became self-accepting on my website.
5. Change Your Focus
Stop focusing on what is missing or wrong in your life. Instead, focus on being grateful for all the things that you do have and all the parts of your life that are working.
Every time you ‘hear’ yourself thinking something negative (and you’ll probably feel heaviness or a slumping of your body), replace it with a thought of something you’re grateful for and smile!
6. Take on Challenges
Create opportunities to prove to yourself that you are more than you currently believe you are. Who you currently believe you are was probably defined by other people. Again, it’s just their opinions.
You can start small; take a class, or go to a workshop that teaches something you consider a weakness.
Want something bigger? Learn something completely new. Take a vacation alone. Start a foundation or a company/business. Do something that scares you.
7. Keep Learning and Growing
The more we know and understand the better able we are to handle situations. This includes learning about yourself: gaining self-awareness.
This means lots of reading, taking classes, and going to seminars and workshops. Therapy and journal writing are also invaluable tools for self-exploration. Explore! Investigate!
Investigate how you work, how humans in general work and how the world works. This will gain you knowledge, and as you use this knowledge in situations, you will gain experience which gives you wisdom. And wisdom will increase your belief in yourself.
8. Set Goals
Set small, achievable, short-term goals to prove to yourself that you can accomplish what you set your mind and effort to.
9. Live Up to Your Own Expectations, Not Anyone Else’s
Many times, lack of confidence comes from the fact that we are chasing other people’s goals for us, not our own. It is not your job to satisfy other people’s expectations of you. It is your job to live up to your own expectations for yourself, to pursue your own dreams, and to use your own talents, skills and gifts to serve the world.
10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Your appearance, accomplishments, earnings, success, and whatever else, are your own. You have all the tools you need to fulfill your goals, not any one else’s.
I wish you all the best in you efforts to believe in yourself. It is a very worthy endeavor.
When you believe in yourself, anything is possible!
Michele Goldstein is a Spiritual-Interfaith Minister, life counselor, former teacher, writer, blogger, gratitude-junkie, and founder of Return Love.
Her mission is to share her unique message of healing, evolving perception, and the end of suffering derived from her own personal growth journey. michele.indigosky@gmail.com.
Believing in yourself is another way of saying having confidence, but I think it is a much more explicit way to say it. It explains what is required.
What is confidence? Confidence is often linked with self-esteem and self-worth. It is self-assurance. It is believing that you have much to offer and that you are valuable. Much of that is gained through accomplishments and successes. Some of that is gained through other peoples opinions.
Confidence in yourself also means trusting yourself to be able to handle any situation that comes your way. This means preparation by gaining knowledge and experience.
Often times, we don’t strive for what we want because either we don’t believe we are capable of achieving it, or because we aren’t motivated. We may not be motivated due to fear of failure, often caused by believing we’re not capable or not worthy of success. Motivation requires confidence and self-trust.
Knowing you are valuable and worthy is your birthright. Achieving and succeeding must be attempted in order to be accomplished. These suggestions will get you where you need to go!
1. Volunteer
There is nothing that will make you feel better about yourself than helping others and making another person’s day better. Feeling useful, wanted and needed builds confidence and self-worth. You will learn new things about yourself: things that you are good at and things that make you feel confident.
Acts of kindness boost your mood by boosting serotonin production. It’s a win-win activity!
2. Make a List
Make a list of all the things you have already overcome and accomplished in your life. Then you can start adding new things as you accomplish them. Seeing this list in black and white is very empowering. (I speak from experience.)
3. Surround Yourself with People that Support You
If you have highly critical people in your life, their words do affect your perception of yourself. Unless or until you can embrace the following, it is in your best interest to eliminate them from your life if you can, or minimize your contact with them.
- Know their words are just their opinions.
- Know opinions are not facts.
- Learn not to take things personally.
Find people with similar values and interests, who will support and enhance your progress. When you surround yourself with people like this, their confidence in you, and your knowledge that they are there for you will motivate you and give you confidence.
4. If You Don’t Already Have It, Gain Self-Acceptance
In order to believe in yourself, you must first accept yourself. How can you believe in something you can’t fully accept? If you don’t have self-acceptance, then that means that you are rejecting parts of yourself, possibly even hating parts of yourself. It will be impossible to believe when rejection and hatred are present.
Some people believe that one can simply choose to accept oneself. If this works for you, be grateful. I didn’t find it that simple.
When we were children, much of our confidence (or lack of) came from what others said or believed. For me, no matter how many times I was told good things about myself, I was never able to accept other people’s opinions. So, I was left to my own devices to figure out how to learn to believe in myself.
In my late twenties, I was “delivered” a method, and it started with gaining self- acceptance. You can find out how I became self-accepting on my website.
5. Change Your Focus
Stop focusing on what is missing or wrong in your life. Instead, focus on being grateful for all the things that you do have and all the parts of your life that are working.
Every time you ‘hear’ yourself thinking something negative (and you’ll probably feel heaviness or a slumping of your body), replace it with a thought of something you’re grateful for and smile!
6. Take on Challenges
Create opportunities to prove to yourself that you are more than you currently believe you are. Who you currently believe you are was probably defined by other people. Again, it’s just their opinions.
You can start small; take a class, or go to a workshop that teaches something you consider a weakness.
Want something bigger? Learn something completely new. Take a vacation alone. Start a foundation or a company/business. Do something that scares you.
7. Keep Learning and Growing
The more we know and understand the better able we are to handle situations. This includes learning about yourself: gaining self-awareness.
This means lots of reading, taking classes, and going to seminars and workshops. Therapy and journal writing are also invaluable tools for self-exploration. Explore! Investigate!
Investigate how you work, how humans in general work and how the world works. This will gain you knowledge, and as you use this knowledge in situations, you will gain experience which gives you wisdom. And wisdom will increase your belief in yourself.
8. Set Goals
Set small, achievable, short-term goals to prove to yourself that you can accomplish what you set your mind and effort to.
9. Live Up to Your Own Expectations, Not Anyone Else’s
Many times, lack of confidence comes from the fact that we are chasing other people’s goals for us, not our own. It is not your job to satisfy other people’s expectations of you. It is your job to live up to your own expectations for yourself, to pursue your own dreams, and to use your own talents, skills and gifts to serve the world.
10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Your appearance, accomplishments, earnings, success, and whatever else, are your own. You have all the tools you need to fulfill your goals, not any one else’s.
I wish you all the best in you efforts to believe in yourself. It is a very worthy endeavor.
When you believe in yourself, anything is possible!
Michele Goldstein is a Spiritual-Interfaith Minister, life counselor, former teacher, writer, blogger, gratitude-junkie, and founder of Return Love.
Her mission is to share her unique message of healing, evolving perception, and the end of suffering derived from her own personal growth journey. michele.indigosky@gmail.com.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Google Alert - African American News
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The Story of the Texas Super Star Youth Sports Group.
Texas Super Star Youth Sports Group was born because
a Man had the Spiritual experience of Coaching and
Training his 2 Sons. The bond of Love and Respect
that was created from the shared experience of working
together to acheive a common goal spilled over into
every aspect of their lives.
The Founder of TSSYSG found that athletic training
was a perfect vehicle to teach his boys work ethic
and discpline that could be related to whatever they
were involved in including their school work in the
class room.
The Founder over the years coached and trained many
young people and found there was a void that existed
where a significant amount of young people did not
have the Father figure of Support System to help them
reach their full potential and develop the talents
that they possesed.
Although the Founder's sons are now adults the need
for helping young people still exist in many
Communities. This need brought about the birth of the
Texas Super Star Youth Sports Group as a vehicle to
teach Work Ethic, Goal Setting, and Academic
Discipline.
The story of TSSYSG is yet to be written, we appeal to everyone who recognizes how valuable a resource our young people are to join the Founder in this Mission. This Nonprofit welcomes Volunteers, your expertise, monetary contributions or support of any kind will ensure that the Founders Dream of helping those that need help the most is realized.
Contact Info: texassuperstarsports@gmail.com
Website: http://texassuperstarsports.com
Phone No.: 214-494-9064
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Halle Berry's Ex Arrested, Hospitalized After Brawl with Fiancé Olivier Martinez
Halle Berry's Ex Arrested, Hospitalized After Brawl with Fiancé Olivier Martinez: 
Gabriel Aubry and Martinez reportedly got into a Thanksgiving Day fight that sent both men to the hospital.
Gabriel Aubry and Martinez reportedly got into a Thanksgiving Day fight that sent both men to the hospital.
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Friday, November 23, 2012
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012
How We Judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves
How We Judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves:
Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Maria Moraca
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
Oh yeah, this has been a big one for me. Huge.
I’ve had a long, tedious journey toward recognizing that many of my thoughts were based in judgments of others. I didn’t realize it for years.
I used to think I had strong opinions, was decisive, and able to “evaluate” others. I “got” people. I understood where they were coming from, their motivations, and why they said what they said and did what they did.
I was a highly skilled definer, and an even better dismisser. Once I’d figured you out, my opinions were set in stone. I didn’t leave much room for changing those opinions either. Once I’d decided, that was it. You were what you were, according to me.
With the benefit of time and hindsight, I’ve come to realize that since I was actively embracing a life of personal growth (or “working on my stuff,” as I like to call it), I somehow felt that gave me free rein to comment on what others were doing.
I’ve also realized this is a common behavior in those of us on the personal growth path.
When we are seeking change for ourselves, we sometimes feel we can comment on (or seek change for) the lives of others—about how they should behave, about what is acceptable for them, and so on.
I had some inexplicable sense of entitlement that validated my judgmental parts in behaving this way.
This criticizing behavior was, for the most part, restricted to my thoughts. Outwardly, I was generally a pretty nice gal—helpful, polite, and funny; and I had plenty of friends who liked spending time with me.
Internally though, my thoughts could be pretty acidic. The judgmental parts of me were constantly criticizing, sizing up, dismissing, and diminishing those around me.
I slowly started to become more knowledgeable about the internal criticizers as my awareness grew and my judgments diminished in response to some other issues I was tackling.
While that was a huge relief, I started to realize just how much mental space and energy I was giving those internal judges. I was shocked to recognize just how bossy and mean they could be.
I also began to wonder how much criticism these internal judges had of me. And man, was I amazed when I started paying attention. I realized I had a pretty constant stream of internal dialogue that was just as critical of me as it was of the outside world.
That was a revelation!
This really clarified, in a new way, the idea that “the outer world is a reflection of the inner world.”
Generally, our judgment of others is an extension of self-judgment; and the self-judgment is so ingrained, so normal, we don’t even recognize it.
This was an intense experience of pulling back the curtain. It also signified the beginning of a great leap forward, in terms of transforming the critical internal dialogue, which, in turn (and in time), transformed and far diminished the judgment of others.
Here are some tools I used to transform the judgments that you may find helpful:
I am pleased to report that I have massively reduced the judgmental behaviors, toward others and myself. I still consider that it’s an ongoing journey, which helps me in recognizing any rogue criticisms pretty quickly.
Most importantly, I have a completely different perspective on other people than I used to.
Keeping this in mind has been helpful; if you’re struggling with judgment of others, perhaps you will find it useful as well:
For us to judge another, we’d have to know everything about that person—their complete personality, their personal history, their belief systems, their culture, their religion, their family background, and all their past experiences, for starters.
Let’s pretend, for a moment, that we could possibly know all of this about another person.
At that point, since we would see that person in their totality—and we would see that all the decisions that person makes, and all the experiences they are creating, are theirs to make and create as they see fit, to support their lovely, complex, ever-changing growth process—there’d be nothing to judge.
So since we can’t possibly know all those things about another, let’s just skip right up to the “nothing to judge” part, okay?
It’s a deal.
Photo by just_a_name_thingie
Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Maria Moraca
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
Oh yeah, this has been a big one for me. Huge.
I’ve had a long, tedious journey toward recognizing that many of my thoughts were based in judgments of others. I didn’t realize it for years.
I used to think I had strong opinions, was decisive, and able to “evaluate” others. I “got” people. I understood where they were coming from, their motivations, and why they said what they said and did what they did.
I was a highly skilled definer, and an even better dismisser. Once I’d figured you out, my opinions were set in stone. I didn’t leave much room for changing those opinions either. Once I’d decided, that was it. You were what you were, according to me.
With the benefit of time and hindsight, I’ve come to realize that since I was actively embracing a life of personal growth (or “working on my stuff,” as I like to call it), I somehow felt that gave me free rein to comment on what others were doing.
I’ve also realized this is a common behavior in those of us on the personal growth path.
When we are seeking change for ourselves, we sometimes feel we can comment on (or seek change for) the lives of others—about how they should behave, about what is acceptable for them, and so on.
I had some inexplicable sense of entitlement that validated my judgmental parts in behaving this way.
This criticizing behavior was, for the most part, restricted to my thoughts. Outwardly, I was generally a pretty nice gal—helpful, polite, and funny; and I had plenty of friends who liked spending time with me.
Internally though, my thoughts could be pretty acidic. The judgmental parts of me were constantly criticizing, sizing up, dismissing, and diminishing those around me.
I slowly started to become more knowledgeable about the internal criticizers as my awareness grew and my judgments diminished in response to some other issues I was tackling.
While that was a huge relief, I started to realize just how much mental space and energy I was giving those internal judges. I was shocked to recognize just how bossy and mean they could be.
I also began to wonder how much criticism these internal judges had of me. And man, was I amazed when I started paying attention. I realized I had a pretty constant stream of internal dialogue that was just as critical of me as it was of the outside world.
That was a revelation!
This really clarified, in a new way, the idea that “the outer world is a reflection of the inner world.”
Generally, our judgment of others is an extension of self-judgment; and the self-judgment is so ingrained, so normal, we don’t even recognize it.
This was an intense experience of pulling back the curtain. It also signified the beginning of a great leap forward, in terms of transforming the critical internal dialogue, which, in turn (and in time), transformed and far diminished the judgment of others.
Here are some tools I used to transform the judgments that you may find helpful:
1. When you catch yourself having a defining thought about someone, step back and ask, “What do I really know about this person?”
Often, the answer is a version of “not very much.” This behavior acts as a pattern interrupt, and forces you to stop and consider where the judgment is coming from.2. When you hear yourself criticizing someone to others, stop and take a moment to come up with one thing you like about that person. Then praise them, out loud, for that quality.
This is another version of a pattern interrupt, and is also a reminder that they too are human, and like us all, have both attractive and not-so-attractive qualities.3. When you find yourself in one of those incessant loop thought patterns of judgment about someone else’s behaviors, ask the hard question: Do I myself exhibit this same behavior or attitude that I judge in this person?
Almost always, the answer is yes (not that one always comes to that yes easily). You probably already know that the stuff that irritates us the most about others tends to be attributes we don’t necessarily realize we ourselves have. This was the single most difficult tool I used. It was also probably the most effective.I am pleased to report that I have massively reduced the judgmental behaviors, toward others and myself. I still consider that it’s an ongoing journey, which helps me in recognizing any rogue criticisms pretty quickly.
Most importantly, I have a completely different perspective on other people than I used to.
Keeping this in mind has been helpful; if you’re struggling with judgment of others, perhaps you will find it useful as well:
For us to judge another, we’d have to know everything about that person—their complete personality, their personal history, their belief systems, their culture, their religion, their family background, and all their past experiences, for starters.
Let’s pretend, for a moment, that we could possibly know all of this about another person.
At that point, since we would see that person in their totality—and we would see that all the decisions that person makes, and all the experiences they are creating, are theirs to make and create as they see fit, to support their lovely, complex, ever-changing growth process—there’d be nothing to judge.
So since we can’t possibly know all those things about another, let’s just skip right up to the “nothing to judge” part, okay?
It’s a deal.
Photo by just_a_name_thingie
Monday, November 19, 2012
Angry Mom Demands Answers After Son Is Racially Attacked At Ole Miss
Angry Mom Demands Answers After Son Is Racially Attacked At Ole Miss:
Mary Woods is so incensed that her son Jamal, a freshman at the University of Mississippi, was racially attacked on the school’s campus that she has enlisted the help of two civil rights organizations who are offering a reward to bring justice to her family, reports WMC-TV.
SEE ALSO: Secessionists Need To Stop Veiled Racism Talk And Secede From Earth
The 19-year-old ROTC freshman, who had planned to graduate and then enlist to serve in this country’s armed forces, became the target of several racist taunts that began in August. Someone reportedly wrote racial slurs on his dorm room door that read, “Blacks are known to steal,” followed by profanity that was scrawled on the youth’s door along with smeared lotion and two playing cards.
The incident left both mother and son shaken.
Jamal, who feared for his life and who would always pack up his gear and head home for the weekends instead of remaining on campus in order to avoid becoming a sitting duck waiting for the next racist ploy, asked to be transferred to another dorm.
On November 5th, campus police alerted Jamal to the fact that his truck, which he had received as a high school graduation gift, had been vandalized. The vehicle’s tires had been slashed, the hood had the letters “KKK” scratched on to it and the words, “Go Home,” had been carved on to the side of the truck. The tailgate also sported a racial slur (pictured above). The vandals reportedly removed the vehicle’s speakers and stereo system as well.
Watch news coverage of the racial incident here:
Demanding answers for the racial attack on her son, Mary contacted Reverend Dwight Montgomery who is with the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and Operation PUSH and both organizations have put up a $1,000 reward for any information leading to the capture of those responsible for the racial bias toward the student.
Rev. Montgomery told WMC-TV, “We want to know the persons involved in this travesty.”
Meanwhile, Mary says that she will not drop the search for her son’s taunters until they are found, and Jamal will continue his studies at Ole Miss and then leave the school.
Mary Woods is so incensed that her son Jamal, a freshman at the University of Mississippi, was racially attacked on the school’s campus that she has enlisted the help of two civil rights organizations who are offering a reward to bring justice to her family, reports WMC-TV.SEE ALSO: Secessionists Need To Stop Veiled Racism Talk And Secede From Earth
The 19-year-old ROTC freshman, who had planned to graduate and then enlist to serve in this country’s armed forces, became the target of several racist taunts that began in August. Someone reportedly wrote racial slurs on his dorm room door that read, “Blacks are known to steal,” followed by profanity that was scrawled on the youth’s door along with smeared lotion and two playing cards.
The incident left both mother and son shaken.
Jamal, who feared for his life and who would always pack up his gear and head home for the weekends instead of remaining on campus in order to avoid becoming a sitting duck waiting for the next racist ploy, asked to be transferred to another dorm.
On November 5th, campus police alerted Jamal to the fact that his truck, which he had received as a high school graduation gift, had been vandalized. The vehicle’s tires had been slashed, the hood had the letters “KKK” scratched on to it and the words, “Go Home,” had been carved on to the side of the truck. The tailgate also sported a racial slur (pictured above). The vandals reportedly removed the vehicle’s speakers and stereo system as well.
Watch news coverage of the racial incident here:
Demanding answers for the racial attack on her son, Mary contacted Reverend Dwight Montgomery who is with the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and Operation PUSH and both organizations have put up a $1,000 reward for any information leading to the capture of those responsible for the racial bias toward the student.
Rev. Montgomery told WMC-TV, “We want to know the persons involved in this travesty.”Meanwhile, Mary says that she will not drop the search for her son’s taunters until they are found, and Jamal will continue his studies at Ole Miss and then leave the school.
Bus Driver Suspended After Fighting With Passenger [VIDEO]
Bus Driver Suspended After Fighting With Passenger [VIDEO]:
Barely a month after a Cleveland bus driver uppercut a disruptive female passenger on his route, another brawl between a bus operator and teenager on Monday in Baltimore went viral.
RELATED: Caught On Camera: Bus Driver Uppercuts Belligerent Passenger
The video shows the two women scrapping throughout the bus until the driver finally gains control of the teen. At the 1:47, the driver is heard repeatedly asking the girl, “You wanna fight somebody? Does it make you feel better?”
It’s not exactly known why they began knuckling up, but when another passenger inquires about its origin, the driver replies, “It’s about being disrespectful.”
The driver, who has worked for the Maryland Transit Administration since 2003, according to the Baltimore Sun, has been suspended pending further investigation.
Watch the fight here:
MTA authorities have also spoken with the two participants, whose identities remain private. Commenting on the matter, MTA spokesman Terry Owens said that “police will review the YouTube video. They are also pulling the video from the bus to see if it provides a more thorough picture of what happened.”
All we have to ask is, can bus drivers and passengers get along?
Barely a month after a Cleveland bus driver uppercut a disruptive female passenger on his route, another brawl between a bus operator and teenager on Monday in Baltimore went viral.
RELATED: Caught On Camera: Bus Driver Uppercuts Belligerent Passenger
The video shows the two women scrapping throughout the bus until the driver finally gains control of the teen. At the 1:47, the driver is heard repeatedly asking the girl, “You wanna fight somebody? Does it make you feel better?”
It’s not exactly known why they began knuckling up, but when another passenger inquires about its origin, the driver replies, “It’s about being disrespectful.”
The driver, who has worked for the Maryland Transit Administration since 2003, according to the Baltimore Sun, has been suspended pending further investigation.
Watch the fight here:
MTA authorities have also spoken with the two participants, whose identities remain private. Commenting on the matter, MTA spokesman Terry Owens said that “police will review the YouTube video. They are also pulling the video from the bus to see if it provides a more thorough picture of what happened.”
All we have to ask is, can bus drivers and passengers get along?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Police: Inmate Tried To Hire Hitman To Murder Girlfriend, Children
Police: Inmate Tried To Hire Hitman To Murder Girlfriend, Children:
Andrew Thomas, 18, has been charged with solicitation of murder and solicitation of murder for hire for attempting to hire a hitman to kill his girlfriend and her children, reports the Chicago Tribune.
According to Cook County Sheriff’s police spokesman, Frank Bilecki, Thomas was serving time for battering his girlfriend and planned for the hit to take place before his next court appearance on December 3rd of this year. He offered $3,000 for the slaying of his girlfriend, and an additional $1,000 to kill 3 of her 4 children — aged from 2- to 4-years-old — if they got in the way.
The youngest child, the only one fathered by Thomas, was to be spared.
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According to authorities, Thomas has been arrested for 9 Class X felonies. In the state of Illinois, Class X felonies are the most serious crimes on the books and carry a mandatory 6 to 30 year sentence. Because of their heinous nature, no probation is offered. Possible Class X felonies include: Aggravated battery of a child, aggravated criminal sexual assault, home invasion and aggravated vehicular hijacking.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Thomas is being held on $2,000,000 bond for the additional charges and his court date is set for December 6th.
SEE ALSO:
Andrew Thomas, 18, has been charged with solicitation of murder and solicitation of murder for hire for attempting to hire a hitman to kill his girlfriend and her children, reports the Chicago Tribune.According to Cook County Sheriff’s police spokesman, Frank Bilecki, Thomas was serving time for battering his girlfriend and planned for the hit to take place before his next court appearance on December 3rd of this year. He offered $3,000 for the slaying of his girlfriend, and an additional $1,000 to kill 3 of her 4 children — aged from 2- to 4-years-old — if they got in the way.
The youngest child, the only one fathered by Thomas, was to be spared.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
According to authorities, Thomas has been arrested for 9 Class X felonies. In the state of Illinois, Class X felonies are the most serious crimes on the books and carry a mandatory 6 to 30 year sentence. Because of their heinous nature, no probation is offered. Possible Class X felonies include: Aggravated battery of a child, aggravated criminal sexual assault, home invasion and aggravated vehicular hijacking.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Thomas is being held on $2,000,000 bond for the additional charges and his court date is set for December 6th.
SEE ALSO:
Arizona Gun Shop Owner: “No Obama Voters Allowed”
Bobby Brown Pleads Not Guilty To DUI Charges
WNBA Star Chamique Holdsclaw Charged For Assault After Battle With Ex-Girlfriend
WNBA Star Chamique Holdsclaw Charged For Assault After Battle With Ex-Girlfriend:
Former WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw (pictured) was arrested by Atlanta police and charged with aggravated assault, criminal damage to property and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, after an incident involving ex-girlfriend and teammate Jennifer Lacey (pictured below) took an ugly turn, reports the Daily News.
Lacey, who had just finished working out at a church gym, was approached by Holdsclaw and asked whether she could put some of her things in her car. Lacy obliged Holdclaw’s request. Enroute to her home however, Lacy smelled gasoline coming from her vehicle and noticed when she looked in her rearview mirror that Holdsclaw was following her.
Instead of going home, Lacey drove to a friend’s home and when she parked, the 29-year-old former ball player told police that her former lover swung a baseball bat and began smashing the windows of her Range Rover SUV.
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Holdsclaw reportedly shattered the vehicle’s driver’s side, rear passenger and rear windows. Lacey also told police that Holdsclaw produced a handgun and fired it inside her vehicle, then fled the scene.
Police later surmised that Holdsclaw may have poured gasoline in Lacey’s car before the violent episode took place in an effort to ignite an explosion when she allegedly fired the shot inside the vehicle.
Investigators later stumbled upon a 9mm shell casing at the scene of the violent occurrence.
Lacey was uninjured during the ruckus.
Both Lacey and Holdsclaw played together for the WNBA’s The Atlanta Dream, where they were teammates during the 2009 season.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Holdsclaw, who is a Queens, New York native, tells of her impoverished childhood in a housing project and how she battled depression at the beginning of her professional playing career in her autobiography, “Breaking Through: Beating the Odds Shot After Shot.” She also serves as a spokesperson for an organization, Active Minds, that empowers students to openly discuss mental health issues in order to educate others.
Bail was set at $10,000, but Holdsclaw was still in jail as of Friday morning.
SEE ALSO:
Former WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw (pictured) was arrested by Atlanta police and charged with aggravated assault, criminal damage to property and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, after an incident involving ex-girlfriend and teammate Jennifer Lacey (pictured below) took an ugly turn, reports the Daily News.Lacey, who had just finished working out at a church gym, was approached by Holdsclaw and asked whether she could put some of her things in her car. Lacy obliged Holdclaw’s request. Enroute to her home however, Lacy smelled gasoline coming from her vehicle and noticed when she looked in her rearview mirror that Holdsclaw was following her.
Instead of going home, Lacey drove to a friend’s home and when she parked, the 29-year-old former ball player told police that her former lover swung a baseball bat and began smashing the windows of her Range Rover SUV.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
Holdsclaw reportedly shattered the vehicle’s driver’s side, rear passenger and rear windows. Lacey also told police that Holdsclaw produced a handgun and fired it inside her vehicle, then fled the scene.Police later surmised that Holdsclaw may have poured gasoline in Lacey’s car before the violent episode took place in an effort to ignite an explosion when she allegedly fired the shot inside the vehicle.
Investigators later stumbled upon a 9mm shell casing at the scene of the violent occurrence.
Lacey was uninjured during the ruckus.
Both Lacey and Holdsclaw played together for the WNBA’s The Atlanta Dream, where they were teammates during the 2009 season.
Follow @newsoneofficial
Holdsclaw, who is a Queens, New York native, tells of her impoverished childhood in a housing project and how she battled depression at the beginning of her professional playing career in her autobiography, “Breaking Through: Beating the Odds Shot After Shot.” She also serves as a spokesperson for an organization, Active Minds, that empowers students to openly discuss mental health issues in order to educate others.
Bail was set at $10,000, but Holdsclaw was still in jail as of Friday morning.
SEE ALSO:
Police: Inmate Tried To Hire Hitman To Murder Girlfriend, Children
Barbara Bush To GOP: “Compromise Is Not A Dirty Word”
Saturday, November 17, 2012
NEWS: Saigon Takes Back His Comments About Punching Rick Ross & 2 Chainz
NEWS: Saigon Takes Back His Comments About Punching Rick Ross & 2 Chainz: 
Saigonrecentlysaidhe'd like to punch Rick Ross and 2 Chainz because he doesn't like the adult content in their music. However, it seems Saigon only made these comments to garner views from his Breakfast
Saigonrecentlysaidhe'd like to punch Rick Ross and 2 Chainz because he doesn't like the adult content in their music. However, it seems Saigon only made these comments to garner views from his Breakfast
7 Practical Steps to Making Your Wildest Dreams Come True
7 Practical Steps to Making Your Wildest Dreams Come True:
Five years ago, I was miserable and alone.
Today, I get paid to do what I love. And I have an amazing family.
It did not happen because of luck. Or because I did my visualizations. It happened because I took practical steps forward each and every day.
And in this article, you’ll discover what those steps were.
1. Semi-Clarity
The first thing you have to get clear on is this: What do you REALLY want? You donÃ’t have to be crystal clear, but you do want a general idea of where you’re going. If you still can’t answer this question, just start somewhere. If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter where you start.
You probably have “shoulds” in your life. You should do this. You should do that.
Is it what you truly want?
What you should do is not important. What you truly want to do is what matters.
Once you make that distinction, and once you’re willing to eliminate what other people think you should do, everything changes.
This is your life. And if you want to live the life of your dreams, you have to reclaim your power. You have to take responsibility for your life.
2. Embrace Confusion
When you’re starting out, you will be confused. I know I was. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy. I was frustrated and I just wanted to hide somewhere with a nice bowl of ice cream with candy on top.
This confusion happens because you’re embarking on a new journey. It’s a sign that you’re breaking free from your old way of being.
ItÃs like when a butterfly breaks free from its cocoon. At first it seems like the whole world is crashing down, but suddenly, a whole new world opens up.
There are wings. There’s freedom. There’s life.
That’s why confusion is not to be avoided, but to be embraced. It is a sign that you’re on the right path.
3. Mentor/Training
In order to take action when you’re confused, you need someone to guide you.
This could be a book, a training course, or even a mentor. But whatever you do, pick one source of information. Do not become an information junkie. It is another form of procrastination. If you want to create your dream life, you have to move forward.
You have to constantly think about what you can do. And what your next smallest step is.
4. Action
Action is key.
People talk about visualization and the law of attraction, which is fine, but it won’t get you what you want. Things will not magically manifest in your life unless you take action.
It is only when you take action, when you commit, that things will start to happen.
When you show you are willing to do this, that’s when your life will change. Jump and the support net will appear beneath you.
So, what did I do? I focused on my next smallest step. I was confused, and I still am from time to time, but I just focused on what I needed to do next.
I’ve built a successful online business around my passion. When I was building it, all I did was focus on my next smallest step.
5. Commitment
I believe one of the most important factors of my success was my commitment to making it work.
I still remember the first time I walked into an Aikido dojo. In the beginning, I was constantly looking for permission. I was asking the sensei if I was doing things right. I was looking for approval. After a few months, he said IÃd made dramatic improvements.
What changed?
I stopped looking for permission. I took back my power and I used what I had to get the results I needed.
I committed to what I was doing. I no longer looked for permission to do anything. I just did it.
I no longer train Aikido, but it gave me one of the biggest learning lessons in my life. You have to commit to what youÃre doing. ItÃs not about maybe achieving your dreams. It’s about making it happen. You either do it or you die trying.
It’s not a question of if, but a question of WHEN.
6. Proper Expectations
Most people give up before they see the first sign of success. That’s why you need to have the proper expectations.
You cannot expect to live the lifestyle you want in 6 months. There are a lot of products promising you that, but that’s just marketing hype.
Ignore it. And embrace reality. This will take longer than you expect, but shorter than you fear. And besides, who cares how long it takes?
Are you going to give up on your dreams and live the rest of your life in regret?
That’s unacceptable.
7. Excuse Management
And finally, you have to fine-tune your internal bullshit detector.
You will have excuses.
We all have reasons for why we canÃt do something. But if you truly want results, you have to get proficient at swiping your excuses to the side.
In the end, the difference between those living their dreams, and those who are just getting by, is their mindset. They are unwilling to put up with the excuses their mind makes. These are just thoughts, merely suggestions from your mind.
The Big Takeaway
You can make your wildest dreams come true.
Will it be scary? Hell yes.
Will it take a long time? It will take the time it takes.
Will it be worth it? More than you can imagine.
But most people never do what they truly want. They end up looking back at the end of their lives wishing theyÃd done more.
The truth is that the path to your dreams starts with one step. And you can take that step today.
But will you?
The decision is in your hands.
You alone hold the keys to your success.
What do you say? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
About the Author: Henri is a freelance writer and the founder of Wake Up Cloud, where he helps people turn their passion into a thriving lifestyle business. When you feel ready to take action, grab his free special report.
Five years ago, I was miserable and alone.
Today, I get paid to do what I love. And I have an amazing family.
It did not happen because of luck. Or because I did my visualizations. It happened because I took practical steps forward each and every day.
And in this article, you’ll discover what those steps were.
1. Semi-Clarity
The first thing you have to get clear on is this: What do you REALLY want? You donÃ’t have to be crystal clear, but you do want a general idea of where you’re going. If you still can’t answer this question, just start somewhere. If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter where you start.
You probably have “shoulds” in your life. You should do this. You should do that.
Is it what you truly want?
What you should do is not important. What you truly want to do is what matters.
Once you make that distinction, and once you’re willing to eliminate what other people think you should do, everything changes.
This is your life. And if you want to live the life of your dreams, you have to reclaim your power. You have to take responsibility for your life.
2. Embrace Confusion
When you’re starting out, you will be confused. I know I was. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy. I was frustrated and I just wanted to hide somewhere with a nice bowl of ice cream with candy on top.
This confusion happens because you’re embarking on a new journey. It’s a sign that you’re breaking free from your old way of being.
ItÃs like when a butterfly breaks free from its cocoon. At first it seems like the whole world is crashing down, but suddenly, a whole new world opens up.
There are wings. There’s freedom. There’s life.
That’s why confusion is not to be avoided, but to be embraced. It is a sign that you’re on the right path.
3. Mentor/Training
In order to take action when you’re confused, you need someone to guide you.
This could be a book, a training course, or even a mentor. But whatever you do, pick one source of information. Do not become an information junkie. It is another form of procrastination. If you want to create your dream life, you have to move forward.
You have to constantly think about what you can do. And what your next smallest step is.
4. Action
Action is key.
People talk about visualization and the law of attraction, which is fine, but it won’t get you what you want. Things will not magically manifest in your life unless you take action.
It is only when you take action, when you commit, that things will start to happen.
When you show you are willing to do this, that’s when your life will change. Jump and the support net will appear beneath you.
So, what did I do? I focused on my next smallest step. I was confused, and I still am from time to time, but I just focused on what I needed to do next.
I’ve built a successful online business around my passion. When I was building it, all I did was focus on my next smallest step.
5. Commitment
I believe one of the most important factors of my success was my commitment to making it work.
I still remember the first time I walked into an Aikido dojo. In the beginning, I was constantly looking for permission. I was asking the sensei if I was doing things right. I was looking for approval. After a few months, he said IÃd made dramatic improvements.
What changed?
I stopped looking for permission. I took back my power and I used what I had to get the results I needed.
I committed to what I was doing. I no longer looked for permission to do anything. I just did it.
I no longer train Aikido, but it gave me one of the biggest learning lessons in my life. You have to commit to what youÃre doing. ItÃs not about maybe achieving your dreams. It’s about making it happen. You either do it or you die trying.
It’s not a question of if, but a question of WHEN.
6. Proper Expectations
Most people give up before they see the first sign of success. That’s why you need to have the proper expectations.
You cannot expect to live the lifestyle you want in 6 months. There are a lot of products promising you that, but that’s just marketing hype.
Ignore it. And embrace reality. This will take longer than you expect, but shorter than you fear. And besides, who cares how long it takes?
Are you going to give up on your dreams and live the rest of your life in regret?
That’s unacceptable.
7. Excuse Management
And finally, you have to fine-tune your internal bullshit detector.
You will have excuses.
We all have reasons for why we canÃt do something. But if you truly want results, you have to get proficient at swiping your excuses to the side.
In the end, the difference between those living their dreams, and those who are just getting by, is their mindset. They are unwilling to put up with the excuses their mind makes. These are just thoughts, merely suggestions from your mind.
The Big Takeaway
You can make your wildest dreams come true.
Will it be scary? Hell yes.
Will it take a long time? It will take the time it takes.
Will it be worth it? More than you can imagine.
But most people never do what they truly want. They end up looking back at the end of their lives wishing theyÃd done more.
The truth is that the path to your dreams starts with one step. And you can take that step today.
But will you?
The decision is in your hands.
You alone hold the keys to your success.
What do you say? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
About the Author: Henri is a freelance writer and the founder of Wake Up Cloud, where he helps people turn their passion into a thriving lifestyle business. When you feel ready to take action, grab his free special report.
You Are Enough: Speaking Up without Blowing Up
You Are Enough: Speaking Up without Blowing Up:
Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Stephen Light
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“I aim to please. It’s okay, no worries. Please don’t worry, its no big deal.” These are some of the common statements I have made when I’ve interacted with others. The truth is that it is not okay and it is inconveniencing me.
I could never voice this to people. What if they didn’t like me? Growing up I learned to be polite and to respect my elders, so I considered it rude to tell someone that what they are asking for or what they are doing is actually not okay. I also didn’t want to create any unnecessary problems or conflict.
I always seemed to end up doing things I didn’t want to do or helping people with things that they should do themselves. I would get frustrated and annoyed and end up taking it out on those people who are close to me. Why did I do this?
I was sitting in an aisle seat on an airplane once when a man asked me if I wouldn’t mind swapping with him. His friend was sitting next to me, and he wanted to talk to him. The problem was that this guy’s original seat was near the back and was a middle seat.
I didn’t want to do it, and yet I did. I reluctantly smiled and said, “Sure, no worries.” I then sat in the middle seat on the flight between two very large passengers, feeling cramped and annoyed. This is when it all started going wrong.
It never rains but it pours. The passenger in the window seat wanted to go to the bathroom, so there was a lot of climbing in and out of the seats. I just smiled and said, “No problem.”
The meal cart arrived, and because we were at the back they had run out of the vegetarian choice, so I had nothing to eat. I just said, “Not to worry.”
My bag was in the compartment above my original seat so I couldn’t just stand up and get my book. The guy next to me was reading the paper and it draped into my space. I couldn’t really say anything because, as you know, reading a newspaper in the confines of an airplane is difficult, and he was trying.
The other guy next to me was hogging the middle arm rest. My justification was that he was a big guy and he was cramped, shame.
I was fuming inside because I did not stand up for myself and for what I wanted. I started blaming the guy who was sitting in my original seat for how I was feeling. If he had just stayed in his seat then none of this would have happened. This was the story of my life.
The truth is, I was a people pleaser and didn’t like others to be inconvenienced. I would rather be inconvenienced than let them have to go through that.
I had learned from an early age to teach people how to treat me. I was teaching them that it was okay to take advantage of me, because deep down inside I believed I was not enough.
My key insights that pushed me to change were:
This simple statement helped me realize that conflict is natural and a given. The world is full of conflict and it would never go away. I just had to learn to deal effectively with conflict. This required that my inner emotional state needed to be able to handle the conflict without taking things personally and getting upset.
I started seeing conflict as good, as it allowed me to speak my truth. I learned that I was not responsible for how others felt about my choices as long as I was not being selfish or offending. I started standing up for myself, and my experiences shifted.
This was not easy, as I had to change. People resisted this new me and there were some people that didn’t like it. Instead of rejecting them for not accepting me, I loved them harder. I just ensured they understood that these were choices for me, and not against them.
I needed to change how I spoke. I wrote down all the things I used to say that put my needs second and I wrote out a list of ways of expressing my needs so they were first. I then practiced these statements and made them so real to me. A few examples include:
We have to accept ourselves to be accepted by others, and we have to teach people how to treat us. We deserve to be treated like the amazing, beautiful souls we are.
“You don’t have to worry about burning bridges, if you’re building your own.” ~Kerry E. Wagner
Photo by VinothChandar
Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Stephen Light
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“I aim to please. It’s okay, no worries. Please don’t worry, its no big deal.” These are some of the common statements I have made when I’ve interacted with others. The truth is that it is not okay and it is inconveniencing me.
I could never voice this to people. What if they didn’t like me? Growing up I learned to be polite and to respect my elders, so I considered it rude to tell someone that what they are asking for or what they are doing is actually not okay. I also didn’t want to create any unnecessary problems or conflict.
I always seemed to end up doing things I didn’t want to do or helping people with things that they should do themselves. I would get frustrated and annoyed and end up taking it out on those people who are close to me. Why did I do this?
I was sitting in an aisle seat on an airplane once when a man asked me if I wouldn’t mind swapping with him. His friend was sitting next to me, and he wanted to talk to him. The problem was that this guy’s original seat was near the back and was a middle seat.
I didn’t want to do it, and yet I did. I reluctantly smiled and said, “Sure, no worries.” I then sat in the middle seat on the flight between two very large passengers, feeling cramped and annoyed. This is when it all started going wrong.
It never rains but it pours. The passenger in the window seat wanted to go to the bathroom, so there was a lot of climbing in and out of the seats. I just smiled and said, “No problem.”
The meal cart arrived, and because we were at the back they had run out of the vegetarian choice, so I had nothing to eat. I just said, “Not to worry.”
My bag was in the compartment above my original seat so I couldn’t just stand up and get my book. The guy next to me was reading the paper and it draped into my space. I couldn’t really say anything because, as you know, reading a newspaper in the confines of an airplane is difficult, and he was trying.
The other guy next to me was hogging the middle arm rest. My justification was that he was a big guy and he was cramped, shame.
I was fuming inside because I did not stand up for myself and for what I wanted. I started blaming the guy who was sitting in my original seat for how I was feeling. If he had just stayed in his seat then none of this would have happened. This was the story of my life.
The truth is, I was a people pleaser and didn’t like others to be inconvenienced. I would rather be inconvenienced than let them have to go through that.
I had learned from an early age to teach people how to treat me. I was teaching them that it was okay to take advantage of me, because deep down inside I believed I was not enough.
My key insights that pushed me to change were:
- I did not like unnecessary conflict and viewed conflict as destructive.
- I did not value myself and my needs, and I saw other peoples’ needs as more important than mine.
- I did not know how to speak up without blowing up.
Dealing with Conflict
“Conflict is a natural disagreement resulting from individuals or groups that differ in attitudes, beliefs, values or needs.” ~AnonThis simple statement helped me realize that conflict is natural and a given. The world is full of conflict and it would never go away. I just had to learn to deal effectively with conflict. This required that my inner emotional state needed to be able to handle the conflict without taking things personally and getting upset.
I started seeing conflict as good, as it allowed me to speak my truth. I learned that I was not responsible for how others felt about my choices as long as I was not being selfish or offending. I started standing up for myself, and my experiences shifted.
Making My Needs Important
I had to realize that my needs were important, as they expressed my inner desires. If I wanted to start living a great life, I had to start living it for me. This meant I had to make my choices real by voicing them. This did not mean that I did not see others needs as important. It just meant I gave a voice to my needs, which I had never done before.This was not easy, as I had to change. People resisted this new me and there were some people that didn’t like it. Instead of rejecting them for not accepting me, I loved them harder. I just ensured they understood that these were choices for me, and not against them.
Speaking Up Without Blowing Up
Now that I understood conflict to be natural, and that all I had to do was voice my opinion, I just needed to know how. I wanted people to know what was important for me. I needed to be able to take responsibility for my needs and for expressing them.I needed to change how I spoke. I wrote down all the things I used to say that put my needs second and I wrote out a list of ways of expressing my needs so they were first. I then practiced these statements and made them so real to me. A few examples include:
- Actually it really doesn’t suit me. Is there something else you can try?
- I really would love to help, but unfortunately I have something that I have to do that is really important for me
- Please may I ask that you respect my choices and don’t try make me feel bad because of them. I do care about you. This choice is for me.
We have to accept ourselves to be accepted by others, and we have to teach people how to treat us. We deserve to be treated like the amazing, beautiful souls we are.
“You don’t have to worry about burning bridges, if you’re building your own.” ~Kerry E. Wagner
Photo by VinothChandar
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Family Of Murdered Texas Teen Question Police Response To Her Missing Case
Family Of Murdered Texas Teen Question Police Response To Her Missing Case:
Although African Americans make up just 13 percent of the U.S. population, we account for 33 percent of the missing in the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s database. Cases involving African Americans also tend to receive less media coverage than missing Whites, with missing men of color getting even less attention.
NewsOne has partnered with the Black and Missing Foundation and TV One to focus on the crisis of missing African Americans.
To be a part of the solution, NewsOne will profile a missing person weekly and provide tips about how to keep your loved ones safe and what to do if someone goes missing, while TV One‘s newest show, “Find Our Missing,” hosted by award-winning actress S. Epatha Merkerson, tells these stories in visual form.
—————————————
The family of a Greenville, Texas, girl who was found dead after going missing say they don’t think police did enough to find the 16-year-old.
RELATED: Alicia Moore’s Murder: Family Heartbroken, Desperately Seeking Answers
Alicia Chanta Moore, 16, went missing Nov. 2, after being dropped off a block from her home by her school bus. Police released the last known image of Moore (below right), which showed her exiting the school bus and looking calm and normal.
Family members say they knew something was wrong immediately because the quiet girl had never run away and items in her room were undisturbed.
“I feel like personally [the police] really dropped the ball,” Cedric Fisher, a family friend, told the Dallas Morning News.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
The Dallas Morning News writes:
The Huffington Post writes:
It was quite disturbing to us to see that Alicia’s case didn’t warrant an Amber Alert or receive attention from national news, although it was very similar to Jessica Ridgeway‘s case, the Colorado girl who disappeared early October 2012 and an Amber Alert was issued,” said Wilson.
“We need law enforcement, media, and our community to get involved in these cases immediately. Our children are not all runaways and that could be the reason why so many of our children are disappearing; the predators recognize that our missing children are classified as “runaways”; therefore, they think no one is looking for them. They are certainly not making the news,” Wilson added.
Moore’s funeral is planned for Saturday. The community held a rally Saturday in the girl’s honor. Several hundred people marched while wearing purple, the teen’s favorite color.
Wilson said African-American families must be willing to take their concerns to the next level if they feel they aren’t being properly addressed.
“When families feel that law enforcement is not doing enough, they must continue the fight. Their concerns should be addressed at the highest levels– police chiefs, commissioners, mayors, and elected officials. Groups such as the Black and Missing Foundation Inc. are committed to helping families bridge the gap with law enforcement, and media and we are always willing to step in and get involved,” Wilson added.
SEE ALSO: Young Woman Vanishes After Leaving Through Bedroom Window
Although African Americans make up just 13 percent of the U.S. population, we account for 33 percent of the missing in the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s database. Cases involving African Americans also tend to receive less media coverage than missing Whites, with missing men of color getting even less attention.
NewsOne has partnered with the Black and Missing Foundation and TV One to focus on the crisis of missing African Americans.
To be a part of the solution, NewsOne will profile a missing person weekly and provide tips about how to keep your loved ones safe and what to do if someone goes missing, while TV One‘s newest show, “Find Our Missing,” hosted by award-winning actress S. Epatha Merkerson, tells these stories in visual form.
—————————————
The family of a Greenville, Texas, girl who was found dead after going missing say they don’t think police did enough to find the 16-year-old.RELATED: Alicia Moore’s Murder: Family Heartbroken, Desperately Seeking Answers
Alicia Chanta Moore, 16, went missing Nov. 2, after being dropped off a block from her home by her school bus. Police released the last known image of Moore (below right), which showed her exiting the school bus and looking calm and normal.
Family members say they knew something was wrong immediately because the quiet girl had never run away and items in her room were undisturbed.
“I feel like personally [the police] really dropped the ball,” Cedric Fisher, a family friend, told the Dallas Morning News.
Want to Keep Up With NewsOne.com? LIKE Us On Facebook!
The Dallas Morning News writes:
They questioned why investigators didn’t go public with her disappearance sooner and wondered why there was never an Amber Alert issued to spread the search beyond the city limits.Family members also questioned why no Amber Alert was issued.
Police said they understand the family’s concerns. But with a 16-year-old, it’s hard to determine whether the missing person is in trouble, has run away or has simply failed to tell her family where she is. Even now, they said, they don’t know for sure how Moore disappeared, or whether she was abducted.
“We have got a lot of work ahead of us in this investigation,” Chief Dan Busken said. “We are only as good as our most recent information.”
As the hours dragged on, Moore’s family said they pressed police to issue an Amber Alert, the system of advertising missing person cases. But Busken said his department was limited in what it can do.Moore’s body was found Nov. 6 in a trunk along a highway about 35 miles from her Greenville home. The body had suffered trauma, but police have not issued a cause of death. Police have arrested one man they questioned in the case. In addition, a 49-year-old man accused of sexually assaulting Moore months ago is also being held in jail.
Hunt County is just outside the Dallas-area Amber Alert regional program. In order to activate a statewide alert network for a missing teenager, law enforcement must determine that the victim’s disappearance was against her will, police said. Busken said the department was unable to make that determination.
“We have to verify things,” he said. “We have to act on the information that we receive.”
Authorities didn’t distribute a news release with her picture until Monday afternoon. A day later, her body was discovered by a construction worker in neighboring Van Zandt County.
The Huffington Post writes:
Months before Moore was killed, her mother told police that 49-year-old Terry Dwayne Ramsire abused her daughter, according to police. Ramsire was charged with sexual assault of a child and indecency with a child by sexual contact, according to a city spokesperson. He’s being held in the Hunt County Jail on $70,000 bond, and while Ramsire was locked up at the time of Moore’s disappearance and homicide, police say they are working to determine if a connection exists.Derrica Wilson, co-founder of the Black and Missing Foundation, told NewsOne she’s not surprised to hear that the family was concerned about police efforts.
Greenville cops announced on Nov. 8 that they also arrested Tobias Whetstone, a man they previously questioned about Moore’s disappearance, according to NBC 5. However, police said he was arrested on an outstanding family violence arrest and didn’t immediately say if he’s linked to Moore’s killing.
It was quite disturbing to us to see that Alicia’s case didn’t warrant an Amber Alert or receive attention from national news, although it was very similar to Jessica Ridgeway‘s case, the Colorado girl who disappeared early October 2012 and an Amber Alert was issued,” said Wilson.
“We need law enforcement, media, and our community to get involved in these cases immediately. Our children are not all runaways and that could be the reason why so many of our children are disappearing; the predators recognize that our missing children are classified as “runaways”; therefore, they think no one is looking for them. They are certainly not making the news,” Wilson added.
Moore’s funeral is planned for Saturday. The community held a rally Saturday in the girl’s honor. Several hundred people marched while wearing purple, the teen’s favorite color.
Wilson said African-American families must be willing to take their concerns to the next level if they feel they aren’t being properly addressed.
“When families feel that law enforcement is not doing enough, they must continue the fight. Their concerns should be addressed at the highest levels– police chiefs, commissioners, mayors, and elected officials. Groups such as the Black and Missing Foundation Inc. are committed to helping families bridge the gap with law enforcement, and media and we are always willing to step in and get involved,” Wilson added.
SEE ALSO: Young Woman Vanishes After Leaving Through Bedroom Window
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